Bond No. 9 New York "I Love New York For All (Unisex)": Review

Bond No. 9 New York announced recently that it had reached a licensing agreement with the state of New York to brand a line of fragrances with the iconic “I love New York” symbol. If you aren’t sure what that is, need clarification, or have been living under a rock since the mid-1970′s, the picture is included in this article.

In doing so, they’ve created three initial fragrances at a lower price point than routine for Bond No. 9 New York fragrances, as well as second-sourced the creation of the scent to IFF, presumably to handle what is expected to be a wider production run. Much else remains the same — Bond’s legendary bottle design, for one — but now packaged in an “off-the-rack-chic” type of way that should make the fragrance line more of a hit with tourists and travelers at the region’s airport Duty Free Shops.

I’ve recently gotten my hands on one of the first distributions of their three fragrances — men’s, women’s and the unisex blend, and tried each with high hopes and great anticipation, as well as curiosity into what Bond felt should comprise as an essence of an equally iconic destination. Some pretty lofty goals, so let’s dive into the first of the three to see how this presented:

Bond No. 9 New York ‘I Love New York’ (For All) – (2011): This is intended to be the unisex fragrance suitable for both men and women, so the expectation is one of a fairly blended and mellowed chicness suitable for both genders. Creating a scent that translates well for both men and women is normally a tall order since perfumers generally want to sacrifice notes at certain ends of the olfactory range from consideration, and the end result is often a watered-down and unimaginative experience. For the unisex Bond — a house that seems to do very well at creating good unisex scents with strong character and appeal — this should have been a second nature. And the result here can be described in a single adjective:

Vanilla.

Both figuratively and quite literally, this scent becomes a very “appease the masses by offending no one” type of experience since it is truly a linear experience. We can name that tune in one note, and that dominant note is vanilla. Wearing this begins with an experience of a sharp and fresh bergamot to awaken the senses, along with citrus, pepper and lily of the valley. The experience then becomes much more linear as coffee, cacao and maron glace are added. Base notes are quick to open, those consisting of sandalwood, other leathery-woody notes, patchouli, and…oh, we almost forgot! Vanilla.

The experience opens with a sharp yet somewhat dirty scent, owing to the pepper and lily of the valley. All too quickly, and in my case that was about 10 minutes, the scent transforms right past the heart notes as if it were the uptown express bus missing a corner full of riders. It careens directly into the vanilla base, and this is where it becomes familiar. Too familiar. Too common. Too much like every other vanilla-based scent that’s come before it. New Haarlem comes to mind, except that New Haarlem contains more noticeable and better blended competing notes of coffee, cream, caramel, and a completely different vibe altogether. The vanilla there is a complementary note. Here? It overpowers everything.

It’s the generic experience of walking into a Starbucks and ordering a $5 chocolate macchiato, then walking as far as the next Starbucks. It does very little to engage the olfactory or capture that essence of an iconic city as Bond has attempted to do with all of its other fragrances (some very well). Seven hours later, the vanilla finally extinguishes leaving little of the sandalwood and patchouli to pick up the last pieces. But by that point, the damage has been done and you’re left with the feeling of having spent almost the cost of one hotel night in a tourist class hotel and walking away with a simply a saccharine sweet confection rather than the essence of a city that two people could share.

It missed the mark. And that’s a pity because Bond has done so well at creating good unisex fragrances that they had an opportunity to grab this bottle by the collar and show the world some New York chutzpah. Instead, they’ve left us with a not-so-cheap souvenir.

(Editor’s Note: I’ll come back in a future installment and give a better review of both the men’s and women’s individual scents. As I’ve had too brief an encounter with the men’s scent, a more thorough sampling is in order).

The verdict on I Love New York For All is anti-climactic, but let’s put this formally in any respect:

Rating: 1.5/5. Not Recommended.

Bottom-line: If you want a very sweet, syrupy, vanillin concoction at a hefty price point, this is an option, though I must suggest that there are much better around at a lower cost threshold. If there was ever an opportunity to capture that elusive New York minute, it seems that the creator behind this was fumbling in their bags to find the camera. This isn’t a bad fragrance, it’s just not noteworthy in any respect nor is it well-composed. Speaking as a New Yorker, I’m embarrassed for it and with it. It feels cheap, and transforms itself too quickly, avoiding any intrigue.

And if New York is about any one thing, it’s intrigue.